A ripe old age

Getting old gracefully today is much easier than it was once upon a time for the middle to upper classes. We are taught to exercise regularly, eat a better diet, smoke less, have plastic surgery to look younger, liposuction, take care of our teeth and of course dont forget, 'travel improves the mind'.

But for the rest, who are unable to live up to this lifestyle, luxuries or even basic commodoties can prove to be a struggle. The elderly (not a term commonly used today, as a 80 year old can appear more sprightly than his younger counterpart) also have to face the added fear, that should they have property or money saved, their offsprings may wish to discuss at length who will get what and so put a strain on their relationship in order to make sure that they receive the correct amount.

It is both sad and the norma that this has become our way. I am the last to judge and am not talking about any specific event, person or place, but trying to draw attention to what I have learnt about the people here.

Old age, for all irrelevant of social status, is something that is looked forward to. I should correct myself and say retirement, for these people feel and many of them have, that they have had a hard and difficult life, so stopping to work is greeted with enthusiasm. Activities are planned well in advance, just as our youngsters do with their after school curriculum.

English is learnt, dance rehearsals are attended, poetry is read and plays are watched performed by fellow free-timers. At a visit to a historical site, I was charmed by two musicians, both elderly, almost toothless, with assorted garments, that sat on a wall and serenaded me on a fiddle and mini accordion, to the sound of their english repitoire. Delighted, when i tried to tip
them for their effort, was refused.

At the Spring Festival, it is custom to give red envelopes filled with money, both to the young and old, but it is also customary for young people, today of a one child family, to constantly help their elderly parents with money, food and clothing.

When I read recently that the allowance for the pensioners is around 750 yuan, which is
1,500 nis, between $ 300 - 400 and just over 200 pounds. When I asked if this was enough
for them to live on for a month, I was assured that it was, as they earned extra monies by growing and selling veggies, kids support and most own their own homes, or have one paid for
by their children.

More often than not, the couple will be involved in taking care of the grandchild, fetching or taking them from school or activities such as English classes (where they sit outside the door or in the waiting room for up to 3 hours), or just generally at home with the baby.

The children in turn grow up extremely close to their grandmother or grandfather and a bond is formed that is closer than to the parents themselves at times. Watching a national geographic
programme on a tribe in Africa, I learnt that there the parents never ever speak to their first born child, but this child in turn is taken in by the whole community and showered with attention and love.

We criticise these people here in China, but we know again that none of us has a perfect country or government either, but as to the old, they are smiling, holding hands and enjoying their old age with respect and peace, that is given to them freely and without question by the children.
Are we missing something here?