Helplessness!

Being in the appartment was in itself pleasant enough, but the feeling of frustration and
helplessness was one hard to bear. Who would believe that breaking an ankle could cause
such a problem and a long recovery. Memories of having broken a leg many a year ago
were still in my mind, but obviously then I was a lot younger and the break was not so
terrible.

If heaven forbid, such a situation should befall you, I totally recommend keeping to a strict
routine. This is imperative in helping the days pass more eventfully and not allowing a feeling
too often, of depression setting in. For the first time in my many a year, I found myself
sticking firmly to a routine, whether it be what time to go to bed (yes, I actually went into
bed!!) something for those who know me, I haven't often done for many year, choosing to
sleep in the living room on the sofa for a number of reasons. Also what time to get up, bathe
eat, or what to watch on the box should there be something of interest on that particular day
and most importantly, making sure that I would spend two hours in front of the computer
writing chapters for my book.

Visitors came and went and even a neighbor lodging for a period from America, stopped by
one Saturday afternoon whilst his wife was sleeping, but never was allowed to come again!
The highlight of the week would be if there was an appointment to the doctor and I would
anxiously prepare myself for this event. Bear in mind that I had been sucked up, much as
Dorothy from Kansas had, not into a cyclone, but whisked away by plane, leaving 99% of
my possessions behind in China. Requesting help from my daughter and friends, I managed
to put together a mixture of lipstick, mascarra, eye shadow and perfume, that left me feeling
more like an actress dressed for a part, than myself.

Clothes were another problem, for I had those that I had fallen in and a shirt or two as
replacement, but nighties and other personal items had to be bought upon my arrival, so
getting ready to go out, always involved a little more thought than usual. I would leave the
house armed with a little list of things that I wished to see; this was difficult as my daughter
was my pusher and I knew this was difficult, but so wished to go into a store and have a
'go see around' by myself, even if it was only to buy a 4 shekel nail polish!

For those of you like myself, who have in the past imagined yourself in such a situation, let
me tell you that from now on I recommend either that you walk around with a large Tote
bag filled with stuff needed for an emergency, or leave next to the front door a small
overnight bag, prepared with emergency needs, or lastly a list of same, waiting for anyone
who may have to come in and avail themselves of your possessions for any circumstance.
I personally shall never be caught napping again.

The time spent alone, was the first 'holiday' that I had taken in many a year and I tried to
use my time constructively, although going out to the balcony for my daily dose of sun, after
finding out that my Vitamin D was beyond low, I would find myself blanketed in a feeling of
melancholy as I would watch the comuters and neighbors bustling about their daily business
and would sit there above them, as a Queen watching her subjects, allowed only to look, but
not participate.

The opportunity to spend time with my children and grandaughter were moments and times
though that I will always treasure, it is moments such as these that one reaps the rewards of
the years and proud of that. But, soon my time at this residence was coming to an end and
it was time for me to move on to the next stage of my journey.