One Step for Me, the Next....

Oh my! It was not easy I can tell you, those first steps, I don't know how babies
find the courage to do it, maybe because they have as of yet no fear of falling!
Stairs seemed like a mountain and the pain, well you do not want me to tell you
about that. It is amazing how we take things for granted. The following day I moved back into my own apartment. I suppose that to describe where I live would be to liken it to a Chinese Hutong, a series of straight and windy lanes that lead into a labyrinth of quaint stone houses, still erect, from a past era, the
only difference being its modern day inhabitants and clothing.

Down the staircase leading to the passage and entrance to my house, was a tearful one, but once conquered, pride replaced the crooked smile and I thankfully sunk down into my personal armchair to view my surroundings. I had rented out my apartment during the time I was away and even though
chose tenants that gave a warm outward impression, was disappointed in finding that they had treated my home a 'little too much' as their own, but this
is the risk we take when we leave our possessions in the hands of another and now I was home and able to re stamp my surroundings with my own style.

The one thing that I had forgotten, was that there was a small step up and over
into the bathroom and for the first number of times, this did in fact prove to be
my stumbling block! The days past quickly as the Day of Atonement got nearer,
this the most solemn day in the Jewish Calender, the day that every soul stands
in judgement, is a day of fasting, penance and reflection. Every year, as our own
personal tradition has it, my daughter and I would go for the final day's prayers
to the nearest synagogue, to join in and at the final cry, hear the loud blast on the ram's horn, blown clear and loud, but alas for me, this would be the first in
a long time, that I was unable to take up this post by her side.

Festivities over, now the Feast of Tabernacles, but for me, no outings to the city,
more a series of physiotherapy and starting to regain movement in my foot and
ankle. To stay sane, it is imperative to have a routine, whether it be when to bathe, eat, surf, stretch.... one it saves the sanity and too it keeps you occupied.

I have never been one that is unable to keep myself occupied and enjoyed spending my time writing my book (that I am now looking for a publisher for)
reading and yes, admittedly, watching the..... box. I must say, that Dr Phil does
have a thing to say or two, but some of those chat shows, ... yawn! too much of
the same.

The days passed and I continued a barrage of tests, to discover that I, the
ultimate 'block of cheese' was now totally, but totally lactose intolerant of the
highest degree!! Help, what was I supposed to do now?! I could not believe it.

For all those overweight ladies out there, listen to a word from the now wise.
For three years and more, I knocked on the doors of doctors and yes even
dietitians complaining that I had previously lost a large amount of weight on
the Dr Herman diet, which runs mainly on eating white cheese or only one kind
of fruit, vegetable, protein etc.. weekly, but since I had stopped, the weight had
returned plus a whole lot more. I understand that doctors are busy, but to their
shame, they did not really believe me, choosing just to look at my size and say
that I was over eating. Swollen ankles, body and feeling generally unwell, it was
only as I was leaving the hospital I stopped to see a Professor for analysis as to
my state. At his suggestion I went to do many kinds of tests, ranging from
allergy, bone density, lactose, thyroid to name but a few, only to discover how
intolerant to lactose I actually was.

Of course there are many who say 'did you not think of that earlier', but in truth
even if I had, I would have just stopped eating milk products from cows and
continue with those from goat or sheep, plus I would never have read the
ingredients on every package to ensure that I do not intake even whey or dried
milk powder for example. It is amazing how much milk extract there is in products! For the first two weeks I was completely in a daze, I had no idea what
to eat, where to begin or how to cope, but slowly I got the hang of it, with the
help and encouragement of my family and as I did not possess a scale, resorted
to a tape measure to keep track of my now shrinking body and it was changing
before my very eyes.

It was as if someone had put a pin in me and I was starting to deflate. Now
here I was, managing to get to be a deft hand at hobbling around, confident
and merry, but I was soon to be brought up short by my impending hospital
date, to have one of the steel pins removed and I admit that I was now totally
unprepared again for that.